it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
