i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
