i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
