your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
