talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
