i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
