She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
