I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
