is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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