She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
