So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
