Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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