Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
