no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
