Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
