he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
