i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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