my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
