plz talk dirty to me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
