you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
