I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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