It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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