If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
