I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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