I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
