glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Welp...herpes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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