Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
