Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
