I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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