i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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