is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
