Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize