Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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