I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
