Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
