Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
