My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
