Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
