I accidentally had phone sex last night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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