listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
