I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
