Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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