We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Vodka?
Forever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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