talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
