i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.