So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.