i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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