Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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