its not stalking. its research.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
