I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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