i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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