Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
