I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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