My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will be naked everywhere
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
