I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
