I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
