You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you still have your period?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
