Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
