And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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