wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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