He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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