in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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