we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize