dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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